...As Karen approached the pavilion where the family reunion was in full swing, she decided to turn around and go home. At home, she turned on her computer to e-mail her Uncle Joe to explain why she did not attend. She had the following reasons:
Reason 1: Her Uncle Clyde was next to the band, trying to play the mouth organ; he doesn't own one.
Reason 2: Her Aunt Shelly was behind the bandstand with Aunt Peggy and Aunt Maggie--all three were stinking drunk.
Reason 3: Her Cousin Amy was dancing with her boyfriend Johnny and she wasn't wearing any panties.
Reason 4: Cousin Sammy had his face in the punch bowl--his entire face.
Reason 5: Uncle Billy was messing with Aunt Gertrude, and she ain't his wife.
Reason 6. On second thought, Uncle Joe, disregard this e-mail: I'm a coming back...I found my jug of moonshine!
by Joseph L. Rose, Mondragone, Italy
...just put her chair down where she would be just out of sight of everyone else. She wanted to scope out the situation first before letting them know she was around. So many of them she either didn't know. Some she just didn't like since she was a child. Karen saw no point in starting this late in life pretending to like, much less love, these people.
by Mary Smith, Fredericksburg, TX