WEEK 354
"I'm going to turn out the lights for one minute," Mr. Gondal said, "and when I turn them on again I'll expect the thief to have returned my..."


...lunch."

A hand went up in the back of the room. "I think it's terrible that you think one of us took your lunch," Melody, the class activist, said angrily. "I mean, it is downright mean of you to assume one of us..."

There was a sudden, strangled cry and Ricky Hermann staggered to his feet, clutching at his throat, and ran from the room, tears streaming from his eyes.

"That," Mr. Gondal told Melody, "was the direct result of eating one of my famous peanut butter and cayenne pepper sandwiches with jalapeno pepper-flavored anchovies. What was it you were saying?"

Melody looked sheepish. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

by Phillip Lynne, Knoxville, TN

...wooden leg!"

When the room was once again shrouded in darkness, furtive scurrying and shuffling could be heard by all the students of Mr. Gondal's wood shop class. Peter thought how odd it was of Mr. Gondal to have removed his leg at such an odd time, but more and more frequently, Mr. Gondal had been doing some pretty strange things. When the darkened room fell silent once again, Mr. Gondal turned the lights back on. His wooden leg was still nowhere to be found, but where it had been, was now a piece of four-inch square stock lumber and a small hand saw. Peter, along with all the other students in the class, broke into uproarious laughter.

by Stewart Lindsay, Buffalo, NY